1. "Hot girls give shitty dating advice. They’re like, “Just ignore him!”
    It’s like, “Well, thanks. I haven’t heard from him in five months. Thanks for the tip.”"
    Chelsea Peretti [x] (via zerosara)
  2. fuckyeahnickkroll:

This picture really makes me feel some feelings.

    fuckyeahnickkroll:

    This picture really makes me feel some feelings.

  3. nudqe:

    "white people can’t danc-"

    image

    "white people can’t twer-"

    image

  4. realrapmemes:

    Maury camera angles

  5. A Pumpkin Arse and Ever-Expanding Thighs

    The title of my autobiography.

    Any healthy lifestyle I was leading has gone out the window. I can’t stop eating. And I’m really only eating because I’m bored and going stir crazy in the house.

    I have a headache. My shoulders hurt. I would like someone to make me a cup of tea, then gently stroke my hair and tell me I’m lovely. 

    Ideally, I would also like this to be a gentleman who would like to hang around for conversation and company and recreational purposes. Because I’m old and I’m bitter and I’d just like someone to wile away an evening filled with jokes and nude cuddles and stuff.

    I could have gone to bed like an hour ago. But I’m trying to be a proper person and not a pensioner.

  6. dogthing2:

HAPPY MOMMY HAPPY BABIES

    dogthing2:

    HAPPY MOMMY HAPPY BABIES

  7. releasings:

lessmetamorebeta:

GOLLY FUCKING GOSH WHAT A NICE DAY FOR SURFING!

😂😂😂

    releasings:

    lessmetamorebeta:

    GOLLY FUCKING GOSH WHAT A NICE DAY FOR SURFING!

    😂😂😂

About me

Professional miserablist... 

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